DECEMBER 23, 2008

xpresstrain

It was just my second day in town and greenwich council emergency loans I was sitting at the bar playing video poker at one of my favorite locals casino. The TV was on behind the bar and the news was talking about a high speed bullet train from L.A. to Vegas. It seems Arnie and Oscar got together (thats the California Gov. and the Las Vegas Mayor at the time) and decided that being able to drink for 2 straight hours, BEFORE you get to Las Vegas could only heighten the experience of hurtling across the desert at 300mp in a steel tube. On top of that, it would all be done in the name of economic stimulus with funding coming from those wonderful folks in Washington.

As I continued to looking for quick cash sip my Manhattan and stimulate the Vegas economy in my own special way, I thought, you know what, if we are going to stimulate the economy, then lets stimulate the fuck out of it. Lets get America back to work and return the U.S. rail system to the glory days of yesteryear, and YES, drink cocktails in a steel tube at 300mph. I had a plan, and to me at that precise moment, it sounded pretty good…………

LIVIN LA VIDA LOVEDART…….LIVE FROM LAS VEGAS…..DAY 2

HELLO THERE LOUNGERS………….WELL ITS DAY TWO, AND NORMALLY I DONT DO A WHOLE LOT OF MATH WHILE IM ON VACATION, BUT…………IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THE GOVERNER OF NEVADA WAS TALKING WITH HIS OLD PAL, GOVERNER OF CALIFORNIA ARNIE (I DONT fast payday loans bird rd KNOW HOW TO SPELL SCWHARTZENEGGER LOL) AND THEY HAVE DECIDED THAT A GOOD WAY TO SPEND SOME OF OUR NEW PRESIDENTS ECONOMIC STIMULUS MONEY WOULD BE TO BUILD A TRAIN THAT GOES 300 MILES AN HOUR BETWEEN L.A. AND VEGAS, AND TO BE HONEST I COULDNT AGREE MORE, BUT…………..

WHY STOP THERE!!!!

SO YOUR OLD PAL JOHNNY LOVEDART FIRED OFF A QUICK LETTER TO ARNOLD AND SAID HEY!!!! LETS REALLY STIMULATE THE ECONOMY. JUST KEEP GOING AND BUILD THE TRACKS ALL THE WAY TO NEW ORLEANS, THEN HEAD NORTH ON UP TO CHICAGO. (THIS IS THE PART WHERE OL JOHNNY IS THINKING OF ALL HIS FELLOW LOUNGERS)

YOU COULD LEAVE CRAWFORDSVILLE AT 6A.M. ON SLAMTRAC AND BE IN 2500 cash advance loans CHICAGO BY 10. THEN HOP ON THE BULLET TRAIN AND TRAVEL THE 932.8 MILES TO NEW ORLEANS IN 3 HOURS AND 10.9 MINUTES. THIS MEANS YOU LEAVE HOME AT 6, AND BY 1:30 IN THE AFTERNOON YOU COULD BE DRINKING HANDGRENADES, EATING GUMBO AND YELLING, SHOW US YOUR TITS. HOW COOL IS THAT.

BUT LETS NOT STOP THERE……….

YOU SHOULD BE POLISHING OFF THAT 3RD HANDGRENADE BY AROUND 5 O’CLOCK. SO HOP BACK ON THE BULLET AND TRAVEL THE 1507.8 MILES TO LAS VEGAS IN A SCANT 5.024 HOURS. YOU PULL INTO THE STRIP SHORTLY AFTER 10 AND BY 10.30 YOUR SIPPIN MARTINIS AND TUCKIN DOLLARS AT THE CRAZY HORSE SALOON WITH ENOUGH TIME LEFT OVER TO CATCH the loan shop online THE 5.99 T-BONE STEAK AND EGGS SPECIAL AT MIDNIGHT DOWN AT THE VEGAS CLUB ON FREMONT STREET.

JUST THINK OF THAT!!!!! TITTIES AND COCKTAILS IN 3 DIFFERENT TIME ZONES WITH BREAKFAST AT MIDNIGHT, ALL IN JUST OVER 18 HOURS. (WHO SAYS JOHNNY LOVEDART ISINT LOOKIN OUT FOR YA)

NOW IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF, ITS THAT KIND OF FORWARD THINKING THAT MAKES THIS THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD. SO, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND FIRE OFF A LETTER TO OUR OLD PAL BARACK, AND LETS GET THIS THING ROLLIN. ITS THE AMERICAN THING TO DO.

OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING. DID I MENTION PUTTING A LOVEDART LOUNGE IN THE DINING CAR?……………