APRIL 2, 2009

turkey

Organized crime, bad credit personal unsecured loans genetic engineering, anabolic turkey steroids, corruption, stem cell research, good lord, where will it end. Since speeding away yesterday in his limo, Johnny Lovedart has gone underground and hasnt been seen since. Amid swirling rumors of everything from bizarre turkey sex, to cult like activity, Mr. Lovedart has decided to remove himself from the spotlight and avoid all contact with the outside world. Accompanied by an unknown female companion, he left J.LOVE studios shortly after the World Weekly News released several images of questionable taste to grocery store check out lanes across the country. His whereabouts are unknown at this time, but local payday loans tv advert authorities speculate that he has sought safe refuge with “family” members, somewhere on Chicago’s south side……..

LIVIN LA VIDA LOVEDART………….WHERES JOHNNY LOVEDART!!!!!

SECURITY REMAINS TIGHT AT J. LOVE STUDIOS AND NOTHING HAS BEEN SEEN OR HEARD FROM JOHNNY LOVEDART AFTER SPEEDING AWAY IN HIS LIMO ON APRIL FOOLS DAY,  AFTER THE RELEASE OF THE GLOBE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS ARTICLE THAT INCLUDED SCANDALOUS PHOTOS SURROUNDING ACCUSATIONS OF BIZARRE SEX ACTS WITH A TURKEY OVER THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY SEASON.
THE ASPCA AND PETA HAVE FILED A FORMAL COMPLAINT WITH THE U.S.D.A. OVER REPORTS THAT THE LOVEDART LOUNGE IS ACTUALLY A FRONT FOR A HALFWAY HOUSE USED FOR SMUGGLING secure online payday loans ANABOLIC TURKEY STEROIDS FROM PARAGUAY BEFORE DISTRIBUTING THEM TO TURKEY FARMS ACROSS THE MIDWEST. SUPPOSEDLY MR. LOVEDART HAS VAST HOLDINGS IN A GROUP OF TURKEY FARMS THAT ARE TRYING TO GENETICALLY PRODUCE 45 POUND TURKEYS BY COMBINING ANABOLIC TURKEY STEROIDS AND GENETICALLY ENGINEERED STEM CELLS NOW AVAILABLE SINCE THE SIGNING OF BARACK OBAMAS STEM CELL RESEARCH BILL.
FUNDED BY MR. LOVEDARTS ENTERTAINMENT EMPIRE, THE HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL AND COVERT PROGRAM IS CLAIMED BY THE ASPCA TO BE IN VIOLATION OF U.S.D.A. REGULATIONS AND ALSO HAVE TIES TO ORGANIZED CRIME IN THE MIDWEST.
ACCUSATIONS OF CONNECTIONS TO ORGANIZED CRIME HAVE HAUNTED MR. LOVEDART SINCE instant short term loans THE MID 1980s DUE TO FAMILY TIES THAT HAVE BEEN TRACED TO UNDERGROUND TOWING AND SALVAGE OPERATIONS ON CHICAGO’S SOUTH SIDE THAT RESULTED IN CORRUPTION CHARGES AGAINST SOME OF CHICAGO’S MOST PROMINENT POLITICAL FIGURES INCLUDING THE STATE POLICE.
NONE OF THE ACCUSATIONS WERE EVER PROVEN AND LITTLE WAS HEARD FROM MR. LOVEDART UNTIL HIS RISE TO STARDOM AS AN ENTERTAINMENT COMPLEX OWNER IN THE BAL HINCH AREA OF INDIANA. SINCE THEM HE HAS GONE ON TO STAR IN AND PRODUCE A SERIES OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL VIDEOS IN ASSOCIATION WITH ROCK RIVER ENTERTAINMENT.
HE HAS BEEN CURRENTLY RIDING A WAVE OF SUCCESS OVER bad credit loans in us THE HOLIDAY SEASON AS A RESULT OF HIS 2008-09 HOLIDAY TRILOGY VIDEO THAT IS SET TO BE RELEASED ON DVD APRIL 12th.
THINGS STARTED TO UNRAVEL THE NIGHT OF FEB. 21st WHEN BAL HINCH ENTERTAINMENT CORRESPONDENT TIPPY GOMEZ ATTENDED THE WORLD PREMIER PARTY FOR THE RELEASE OF THE THIRD SEGMENT OF THE HOLIDAY TRILOGY. SHE WAS FOUND 3 DAYS LATER WANDERING THE BANKS OF RATTLESNAKE CREEK IN A LETHARGIC STUPOR BROUGHT ON BY WHAT SHE CLAIMED WAS A COMBINATION OF ALCOHOL AND ROOFIES SLIPPED TO HER UNKNOWINGLY.
SHE WAS ORDERED BY THE COURT TO UNDERGO TREATMENT AT THE SHATTERED DREAMS REHAB FACILITY AND i need money for christmas WAS ADMITTED INTO A PROGRAM THERE UNTIL SHE WALKED AWAY FROM THE FACILITY ON MARCH 24th. SHE WAS APPREHENDED BY AUTHORITIES SHORTY AFTER AT BUZZEEZ BAIT AND BBQ ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE BAL HINCH WHERE SHE WAS FOUND TALKING TO A REPORTER FROM THE GLOBE WEEKLY WORLD TABLOID THAT RESULTED IN THE TURKEY SCANDAL THE FOLLOWING WEEK.
SINCE THEN TIPPY HAS BEEN RETURNED TO SHATTERED DREAMS REHAB AND HAS NOT BEEN HEARD FROM SINCE BEING MOVED TO A HIGH SECURITY WING OF CENTER.
JOHNNY LOVEDART DEFIANTLY TOLD THE MEDIA WORLD TO KISS HIS ASS AND DISAPPEARED IN HIS LIMO AND HAS unsecured personal loan NOT BEEN HEARD FROM SINCE.
TO DATE, NO CHARGES HAVE BEEN FILED AS LOCAL PROSECUTORS HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO DETERMINE THAT ANY LAWS HAVE BEEN VIOLATED.
A LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENT HAS STATED THAT WHILE THROUGHLY DISGUSTING AND DEVIANT IN NATURE, MR. LOVEDART’S ACTIONS HAVE NOT BEEN DETERMINED TO BE ILLEGAL. WHAT HE CHOOSES TO DO IN THE PRIVACY OF HIS OWN KITCHEN IS HIS BUSINESS. PLUS, I JUST LOVED THE MARDI GRAS VIDEO!
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS ANYBODIES GUESS, BUT WHEN IT DOES, YOULL BE ABLE TO HEAR IT ALL, RIGHT HERE AT THE LOVEDART LOUNGE……..GET YA SOME……AT THE LOVEDART LOUNGE……………… THE TURKEY DID!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>